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Writing lesson · Narrative writing
Show, Don't Just Tell: Use Details to Show How a Character Feels
Turn 'She was nervous' into a sentence readers can see. Learn three kinds of showing details, practise rewriting, and write your own short scene.
The idea
A telling sentence names a feeling: "Sam was nervous." A showing sentence gives the reader clues and lets them work out the feeling: "Sam knocked so softly that he had to knock again." Readers enjoy showing sentences because they get to figure things out, the same way they would with a real person.
There are three easy places to find showing details. Actions: what does the character do with their hands, feet or face? Body clues: what happens inside, like a pounding heart or a hot face? Words and thoughts: what does the character say or think, and how do they say it?
You do not need all three every time. One or two strong details are usually enough. Too many can make a sentence slow and crowded.
Telling is not always wrong. If a feeling is not important, or you need to move the story along quickly, a short telling sentence is fine. Save showing for the moments that matter most.
See the difference
A first attempt
Maya was scared on the first day at her new school. She was very, very scared. Then she was happy because a girl was nice to her.
Maya stood at the classroom door, gripping the straps of her backpack so hard her knuckles turned white. Twenty faces turned to look at her. Then a girl in the front row slid her pencil case over and patted the empty chair. Maya let out a long breath and sat down.
Why this works: The stronger version never uses the words scared or happy. White knuckles and twenty faces show fear; the long breath shows relief. The reader can see the moment instead of being told about it.
Worked examples
Example 1 · Use an action
Rewrite: "Leo was angry."
- Ask: what does an angry person do? Stomp, slam, cross their arms, clench their fists.
- Pick one action that fits the scene.
- Write it with a specific detail: what did he slam, and how?
Leo slammed his math book onto the desk so hard that his pencils rolled onto the floor.
Example 2 · Use a body clue
Rewrite: "Ava was nervous before her piano recital."
- Ask: what does nervousness feel like inside the body? Shaky hands, a fluttering stomach, a dry mouth.
- Choose one or two clues.
- Connect them to the setting so the reader knows where she is.
Ava's fingers trembled above the piano keys, and her mouth felt as dry as chalk.
Example 3 · Use words and thoughts
Rewrite: "Omar was excited about the snow day."
- Ask: what would an excited person say or think?
- Show how they say it with punctuation or a verb like shouted.
- Add a quick action to finish the picture.
"No school!" Omar shouted, already pulling on his snow pants over his pyjamas.
Example 4 · When telling is fine
In a story about a soccer final, is "Mom was tired after work" a problem?
- Ask: is Mom's tiredness important to this story?
- If it is only background, a short telling sentence keeps the story moving.
It is fine as it is. Save showing details for the main character's big moments in the game.
Common mistakes
Why this fails: The detail already shows anger. Naming it as well takes away the reader's job. Try deleting the feeling word.
Why this fails: "She smiled and stomped her feet" sends mixed signals. Each detail should point to the same feeling.
Why this fails: Five body clues in one sentence slow the story down. One or two well-chosen details are stronger.
Why this fails: Showing needs a specific picture: what exactly did she do?
Why this fails: Unimportant feelings can be told quickly. Showing is for moments that matter.
Foundation
Foundation practice
Spot the difference between telling and showing.
1. "Nina was sad." Is this telling or showing?
- Telling
- Showing
2. "Nina stared out the rainy window and didn't touch her dinner." Is this telling or showing?
- Telling
- Showing
3. "Jamal bounced on his toes and kept checking the clock." Which feeling is shown?
- Bored
- Excited or impatient
- Sleepy
- Angry
4. "Lily's cheeks turned red and she hid her face behind her book." Which feeling is shown?
- Proud
- Embarrassed
- Hungry
- Excited
5. "My heart was pounding like a drum." Is this an action, a body clue, or words/thoughts?
- Action
- Words or thoughts
- Body clue
Practice
Practice practice
Choose and write showing details.
6. Which sentence best shows that Ben is proud of his drawing?
- Ben was really, really proud.
- Ben held up his drawing for everyone to see and grinned.
- Ben's drawing was of a dragon.
- Ben put his drawing in his desk.
7. Which sentence best shows that Zoe is cold?
- Zoe pulled her hood tight and stuffed her hands deep into her pockets.
- Zoe was cold.
- Zoe walked to the bus stop.
- Zoe was very, very cold outside.
8. Rewrite with an action: "Ethan was frustrated with his puzzle."
9. Rewrite with a body clue: "Priya was scared of the thunder."
10. Rewrite with words and an action: "Carlos was surprised by the party."
11. Improve: "Ana was happy and she smiled because she was happy."
Think
Think practice
Make choices like a writer.
12. What is wrong with "Mia laughed happily and crossed her arms angrily"?
13. "His heart pounded, his hands shook, his knees wobbled, his mouth went dry, and his ears rang." How could you improve it?
14. In a story about a lost dog, should "The mail carrier was in a hurry" be rewritten with showing details?
- Yes, every sentence should show
- No, it is a minor detail, so telling keeps the story moving
15. Write the feeling a reader should infer: "Grandpa wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and hugged the photo to his chest."
Your turn to write
Write a short scene (5–7 sentences) about a moment when a character waits for something important: test results, a turn on stage, or a friend who is late. Show how the character feels at the start, and show how the feeling changes at the end. Do not use the feeling words themselves.
Helpful sentence starters
- ___ stared at the door and …
- Her stomach … as the …
- "___?" he whispered, …
- Finally, ___ let out a long breath and …
Write in a notebook or a document. The model and checklist are available without signing in.
Check and improve
- I did not name the main feelings with words like nervous, scared or happy.
- I used at least one action and one body clue.
- All my details point to the same feeling, or they clearly show a change.
- I read my scene aloud and a listener could guess the feelings.
This checklist is for parent-and-child self-review. No automatic writing score is assigned.
Answer key
- 1. Telling
It names the feeling directly with the word sad. - 2. Showing
It gives actions that let the reader infer sadness without naming it. - 3. Excited or impatient
Bouncing and clock-watching show someone eager for something to happen. A bored person might also check the clock, but would not bounce. - 4. Embarrassed
Red cheeks plus hiding point to embarrassment. Pride would not make her hide. - 5. Body clue
It describes something happening inside the body. - 6. Ben held up his drawing for everyone to see and grinned.
Holding it up and grinning shows pride. The first choice tells; the others do not show any feeling. - 7. Zoe pulled her hood tight and stuffed her hands deep into her pockets.
These actions show cold. Adding 'very, very' to a telling sentence still tells. - 8. Example: Ethan pushed the puzzle pieces into a messy pile and groaned.
Any specific action that matches frustration works. - 9. Example: When the thunder boomed, Priya's whole body jumped and her heart raced.
Jumping and a racing heart are body clues for fear. - 10. Example: "You guys!" Carlos gasped, his mouth hanging open as everyone jumped out.
Speech plus an action makes the surprise visible. - 11. Example: Ana smiled so wide that her eyes crinkled.
Delete the repeated telling and keep one strong showing detail. - 12. The details show two opposite feelings, so the reader is confused.
Make every detail point to the same feeling, or show clearly that the feeling changes. - 13. Keep the two strongest details, such as pounding heart and shaking hands, and cut the rest.
One or two clear details are stronger than a long list. - 14. No, it is a minor detail, so telling keeps the story moving
Save showing for important characters and moments. - 15. Sad, or moved by a memory.
Wiping eyes and hugging a photo suggest strong emotion connected to the memory. Several close answers are reasonable.